I had mentioned in a previous post that our youngest was struggling in figuring out her place in our family, well in all our family. Her questions that she is asking tells us she’s trying to figure her whole story out. We have taken her to meet a therapist versed in adoption and who works with young children. I got to sit in on this first appointment and could see my little making a connection with this therapist who I myself liked from our phone consult. So we will proceed with another appointment to help our daughter out.
In the meantime, yesterday we got together with her birth mom, S, and her son to help celebrate her birthday. During lunch our daughter started a conversation with S asking her in depth questions of why she is a parent to her son but not to her and why did she make the choices she did when she was born.
My husband and I are proud of her taking these steps to ask all of us involved to help her figure out what she is struggling with. We had not known that she would be so direct with S so we had not prepped her what was coming. She did look for reassurance to answer and we only shared make it age appropriate. S did a great job being open and honest with our daughter (and by our I mean hers and ours).
I think our little still has to process these answers as she is only 6. My hope is the upcoming appointments with the therapist she recently met with and having all of the adults in her life being open to these conversations that she will find the answers she seeks.
And this my friends, is why we pursued open adoptions with each of our daughters birth families. Not only to have family relationships with them, but to have them available for the children we share to ask and answer the hard questions when they come.