NaBloPoMo

a family’s best friend

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What is our family’s best friend you ask? A dog of course, two of them!

I grew up with dogs and wanted to get a dog after I owned a home which came after I was married.  Our first home had a great yard that screamed for the love of a dog.  There was no saying no to me once we were moved in.  Our first dog, Cody, joined our family in August 2001. He was just 9 months old.  We found him in our search of rescue dogs through Golden Gate Lab Rescue.  Our Cody is now almost 14 years old.  Hard to believe!

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It was in 2010 that we accidentally added a second dog to our family. Accidentally you ask? Well it was not that we were looking when Molly a 5-year old Weimaraner joined our family through the Northern California Weimaraner Rescue group.  She had been posted on a flyer that our boarders had and I could not let her go!  Cody had the final say when her foster family brought her to our home and for him, and our girls it was love at first sight!

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It’s hard to believe that almost a year ago, our Princess Molly was diagnosed with canine cancer. We chose a holistic approach for her care for quality of life.  She did enjoy her last months but we did lose her in mid-January.

After being a dog family of two Cody, myself, my husband and our girls were lost without our Molly and just a month after her passing we found our Pepper who was 9 months old through the Rescue Me group.  She and our younger daughter enjoy a very close relationship!

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So here we are back to a family of two dogs.  Cody loved Pepper right away just like us.  It’s great to have these two furry family members greet us when we come home, snuggle us when we need love and just be.  For us it’s having our best friends.

What makes a Real Family?

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the definition of real From the Free Dictionary:
re·al 1 (rē′əl, rēl)
adj.

a. Being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verifiable existence: real objects; a real illness.
b. True and actual; not imaginary, alleged, or ideal: real people, not ghosts; a film based on real life.

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The question what makes a REAL family? seems to infer that we are not actually REAL in our children’s lives.  Our daughter’s each have two REAL families that are part of their lives and love them.

Why do people ask REAL? I’ve been approached and asked in conversation when it is known our family was built through adoption if our girls know their REAL mom? My first thought is that I am as REAL as it gets and then I reply yes in fact they do know and have a relationship with their birth moms and their families. Another question that comes up often is asking if they are REAL sisters? Yes they are, not by blood but through our family they are sisters.

This is when you can decide to educate or walk away. I usually take the effort to educate. I’m not offended when asked this question, it is not asked with malice but more of ignorance on how a family lives in an open adoption. Not everyone is experienced in this. They don’t necessarily know the terminology or quite frankly how it all works. As common as I think our family is in our world, not everyone knows a family like ours.

We are a REAL family ALL of us, we are as REAL as it gets and I am thankful that we are all intertwined as family together with our girls. From our girls’ great grandparents through their siblings from their birth family through to each of our families and each other. The love that surrounds our girls is REAL too and that’s how we like it!

Ask our girls, we, my husband and I, are REAL REAL too!

This my 10th post for National Blog Posting Month, please click #NaBloPoMo to read posts from the many other bloggers participating, Enjoy!

For the thrill of celebrating

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In case you thought I only count down birthdays for my girls … I say “where do you think they learned it from?” ♥  They catch my excitement for me as much as we have for their own birthday countdown!

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Why yes I will be turning 51 in this many days.  Why yes I still countdown to my birthday and look forward to celebrating.  Why should my age stop me?

This year’s birthday is not a significant milestone like last year’s half century mark.  This year’s birthday will be more celebratory as last year we were nursing a sick dog who was just diagnosed with canine cancer and had surgery to remove her spleen and other tumors that were found to be there.

Like every year for as long as I can remember I will enjoy the attention my birthday brings to me! This year my birthday falls on a Sunday of the week both of our girls have off from school for the Thanksgiving break.  So we must come up with a plan.  Having a weekend birthday also means lots more days to celebrate!  Dinner out? Drinks with friends? A trip to Napa/Sonoma?  A day in San Francisco?  So much to plan and think about!

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How do you celebrate your birthday?

This is my post for day 9 of National Blog Posting Month.  Please read the many other bloggers participating in NaBloPoMo and Enjoy!

Thankful for emotional comfort

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Thankful for the emotional space we have given both of our girls to talk about and share anything that comes to mind … recently our youngest told my husband how much she loves him, loves her family, her birth mother and all and how she was so thankful that S chose us to be her Mommy & Daddy, made us both teary.

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Each of our girl’s adoption is a part of our conversation whether spoken or thought.  It is something we have been telling our girls since the day they each were born.  My husband wrote a song/lullaby for each girl that tells their story.  Extending our family with each of their family keeps the story of how our family came to be a present part of our everyday lives.

It can be something as simple when our girls were younger as they’re holding a baby doll and telling us they had adopted him or her.  Telling us when they get older they will adopt children to their family.

As our girls have grown their understanding of our family’s story has grown.  Since it is part of our normal family dialogue it is not unusual for a conversation to start from nowhere, usually while driving somewhere in the car.

There have been times when spending a day or trip with their family that the emotions boil up near the end of the visit/trip.  We have allowed this emotion to start a conversation to give them words to the feelings they are having.  Are you sad because C is leaving?  Are you upset because our time together is over for today?  It’s okay to feel sad or be upset, when we love someone and our time together ends it’s okay to feel sad or even mad.

We know for all of us it is important to let the conversation be had whether it’s one that is sad or happy.

This is my Day 8 for National Blog Posting Month, please click NaBloPoMo to read the many other bloggers participating in this BlogHer event, Enjoy!