the definition of real From the Free Dictionary:
re·al 1 (rē′əl, rēl)
a. Being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verifiable existence: real objects; a real illness.
b. True and actual; not imaginary, alleged, or ideal: real people, not ghosts; a film based on real life.
The question what makes a REAL family? seems to infer that we are not actually REAL in our children’s lives. Our daughter’s each have two REAL families that are part of their lives and love them.
Why do people ask REAL? I’ve been approached and asked in conversation when it is known our family was built through adoption if our girls know their REAL mom? My first thought is that I am as REAL as it gets and then I reply yes in fact they do know and have a relationship with their birth moms and their families. Another question that comes up often is asking if they are REAL sisters? Yes they are, not by blood but through our family they are sisters.
This is when you can decide to educate or walk away. I usually take the effort to educate. I’m not offended when asked this question, it is not asked with malice but more of ignorance on how a family lives in an open adoption. Not everyone is experienced in this. They don’t necessarily know the terminology or quite frankly how it all works. As common as I think our family is in our world, not everyone knows a family like ours.
We are a REAL family ALL of us, we are as REAL as it gets and I am thankful that we are all intertwined as family together with our girls. From our girls’ great grandparents through their siblings from their birth family through to each of our families and each other. The love that surrounds our girls is REAL too and that’s how we like it!
Ask our girls, we, my husband and I, are REAL REAL too!
This my 10th post for National Blog Posting Month, please click #NaBloPoMo to read posts from the many other bloggers participating, Enjoy!
5 thoughts on “What makes a Real Family?”
I’ve never been privy to a family’s journey that includes open adoption. I think it’s fascinating and I love reading your posts. I think your choice to educate rather than be upset about the question of “realness” speaks volumes about your character. It’s awesome.
Thank you 🙂
Excellent! 🙂 Love this post!
I am so loving reading your #NaBloPoMo posts! 20 days to go! xxoo
Thank you and me you 🙂