“Not every lesson in life can be learned–some have to be lived” ~ Arianna Huffington
As a parent you want to be the shield and protect your child/children from anything and everything. This is very true and especially when you want to save their feelings of hurt or disappointment. And as a parent living in two very open adoptions you want to do everything in your power to make certain your children are always happy and not touched by sadness or disappointment.
Life is full of things that may cause hurt or disappointment things that you cannot control. All parts of life become some sort of life lessons; but for my girls at their young ages I want them not to know how it feels when someone disappoints you. However this is not something I can control…the actions of another causing disappointment to my girls.
Life is not perfect and neither are people. It’s just that J’s birthmom suddenly and without warning sent a text early in the morning of our get together to cancel. I normally don’t get in a twist but it’s J’s birthday. The situation gets complicated from there which I’ll leave for another time to post.
At almost 5 years old this relationship between J and S is theirs to develop and build together. Disappointment shouldn’t be part of this autonomous relationship in my opinion, not yet.
We wiped away the tears after sharing the news, we talked about our feelings of disappointment, sadness and how it’s okay to miss someone when you won’t see them when you think.
When she was younger we didn’t share when plans were scheduled as they could change without warning. So in protecting/shielding our children from disappointment we wouldn’t let them know too far in advance. However, we learned it’s not for us to be this over protective. Instead we realized we need to be there to help them through their emotions of disappointment when plans change.
So now we move forward with our family plans to help J celebrate turning 5! And although we didn’t see S we do have separate plans to see her birthfather and his family.