NaBloPoMo

Fridays shouldn’t be this hard!

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I am always hopeful that my day will start with ease and continue as such. I especially hope that on Fridays after all it’s the last day of the work and school week for my family where the weekend begins!

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But this day is not always easy.  Today (I rant) it’s not been easy at all!  My girls, however, were up and ready with ease which for a Friday morning is a bonus.  On the other side of things it’s not going with ease, No it’s that #YAHOOmail is down for a second day and this is my main email host, we are four months out from the biggest fundraising event for our elementary school and I am the chair.  Tell me why I agreed to chair? I know we have time I know it will get done, but today it feels like maybe not.

Insomnia had me awake in my bed from 2-4 AM, yes I tried I really tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t.  My brain wouldn’t turn off for all the things I knew I would try to do on this Friday, yes today.

I feel a sense of urgency with everything I need to do today but obstacles are not allowing me to accomplish these tasks.  Relax and breathe that is my mantra this morning.  Yes morning it is still only 9:50 A.M. as I write this rant!

Hoping my day finds a better path as it moves forward, I know that I have an evening with girl friends to look forward to so all will not be lost by that time of the day!

Relax and breathe that is my mantra … Friday shouldn’t be this hard!

This is my 7th post for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo, here is a link where you can find other bloggers during this National Blog Posting Month, Enjoy!

The discussion of nature and nurture

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From Wikipedia free encyclopedia
Nature versus nurture:
 The nature versus nurture debate concerns the relative importance of an individual’s innate qualities (“nature,” i.e. nativism, or innatism) versus personal experiences (“nurture,” i.e. empiricism or behaviorism) in determining or causing individual differences in physical and behavioral traits.

There is a continuous discussion in the adoption community of which nature vs nurture is observed from a child who was adopted as they grow into adulthood.

We joke around with each of our girl’s birth mothers when we all witness an action and no one wants to take responsibility whether it is an effect of our parenting-nurture or their genetics nature.  In the end we all agree there is so much intermixed nature with our nurture that somehow we all should take responsibility.

With that said, nature does play a significant role in our girls lives … we look at them daily and see the strong resemblance to each of their birth mothers’ and birth fathers’ … although out in the world people try to make us fit and always comment on the resemblance of our girls to us … some of them coming from well-meaning strangers who do not know our family’s history, we do know who they look like and appreciate that. I look forward to the day when my girls and I can share a look knowing our history and their deciding if they want to share the story or not. In most cases now, our standard response is yes it runs in the family ~ not completely untrue, right?

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Nature not only plays a part in appearance, but it does play a role in the girls mannerisms, we sometimes see/hear it … in our older daughter’s  giggle which is an exact duplicate to C and we have pointed this out to her which makes her smile even more! These days we see our younger daughter shares a passion for dance that S has and with that she is a natural to it too!

Because we chose to pursue open adoptions when we were on our journey to parenthood it is easy for us to recognize the nature part of our girls lives … we can see the resemblance to their birth families and they can too! We can compare their mannerisms, giggles or whatever to their birth families. Even more importantly as our girls begin to understand our family story, they too will see independently that they share these qualities and looks too.

We do see the nurture side in the equation too… we see the way we nurture our girls in their stories, the openness we have created for them with each of their birth families, the way we feel that it is normal, the way they can always ask questions of us and we can sit and listen to their point of view, it can also be the way my husband or  I say something and they say it back, we nurture them in what they give and participate in with our family; whether it is helping set the table or feeding our dogs, or the manners we are raising them with … there are other things we do together and the memories we have created, the way we are as a family …but then there are times like taking our girls to music together classes … is their appreciation and singing along to music just our influence? or does it come from a deeper source?

We see no matter what, Nurture and Nature are intertwined … no matter what they get from their genetics we will have an influence on them in our daily lives and this is intertwined in influencing them as they grow to be independent strong courageous women … both sides influencing who they will become and we embrace that!!

Day 6 sharing a post that means a lot to me as part of #NaBloPoMo, please read many of the other bloggers participating at BlogHer NaBloPoMo, Enjoy!

Time

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The definition of Time from the free Merriam-Webster online dictionary:

time

noun \ˈtīm\

: the thing that is measured as seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, etc.

: a particular minute or hour shown by a clock

: the time in a particular area or part of the world

In my opinion for my life, I feel time is flying by no matter how you define it. Either clock time, calendar time or time followed in milestones as my girls grow.

I look at the calendar and see that it is already November 5.  Yes November!  Where did the early part of our year go?  I know truly our days are filled with school, ballet, soccer, girl scouts, holidays, homework, play dates, family vacations and so much more!  I just see it all going by and fast!

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Wasn’t it just yesterday when I made the move to California? It was only May 1994, it couldn’t have been that long ago.  I know we tracked our girls milestones as babies monthly on how they were growing and the things they were accomplishing at those ages.  Now that they are 8 and 6 years old it’s no longer monthly but more a year at a glance that we think back to where they are and how they’ve come to reach that milestone.

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I don’t remember time ticking away so quickly when I was younger when I was a student in school partaking in my girl activities.  Why as an adult does it feel to go by so much more quickly?

Each day may have moments that we need to remember, moments that pass and sometimes a day may feel long but then there are times that it feels fleeting that it has gone by too fast.  I realize you cannot stop time, but maybe just slow it down a bit.  I see with time how all of our relationships through family and friends have changed and grown.  I see for our girls how they have developed family and friend relationships on their own.  I see glimpses of the women they will be with the empathy, compassion and love they show for those in their lives.  I see time has a way of going by for the good too.

This is my fifth post for National Blog Posting month. Click #NaBloPoMo  to read many other blogger’s contribution to this event, Enjoy!

Community is what you make it

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It’s been a little over a year since we moved into our new home.  The leap of faith we took to change homes, neighborhoods and schools has been a good thing for us.

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That was most evident for me when I had an injury accident that kept me off my feet for 3 weeks back in March.  We were not in our house more than 8 months and our neighbors/friends jumped in to help.  Help that was much appreciated and much-needed.  How did they help? They helped get our kids from school, they helped if I needed an errand when my husband was at work.  They checked in on me home alone laid up trying to heal.  It was their automatic offer of help that made me feel so good.  I didn’t have to ask they offered and that to me sealed my feelings of the community we fell into when we bought the home we currently live in.  The friends we were making were true friends and I know we would be able to reciprocate whenever needed for them as well.

Our girls transitioned better than we could have ever hoped.  How did that happen after their sharing that they were upset to leave the only home they ever knew?  It was finding out there are children in our new neighborhood their age that attend the school they would be attending.  We moved in July which was part of my plan to be settled before the new school year would start. On the day we were moving in three girls dressed up as princesses ages 7 and 5 were all we needed to know that this was going to be good!  The friendships have only blossomed from there both for our girls and for us.

Our new community extends to the school community as well.  Me being nervous believe it or not as the new mom to a community at a new school.  I found the parents very open and helpful making my transition easier than I had expected.  Of course now I’m fully ALL the way in too LOL!  And our girls found new friends to help them put roots into their school community as well.  We joined girl scout troops, they play soccer in the local area league and now we live closer to their ballet school and some of the other activities they were already involved in.

It was a leap of faith moving ourselves but it was a leap that has paid us back over and over again.  It has only been a year and 4 months but I cannot believe our fortune in finding ourselves within this new community and the friends we have made that feel like we’ve known each other for much longer than we have.  For that I am thankful!

There are many other bloggers participating in BlogHer’s National Blog Posting Month! Click here #NaBloPoMo to read more, Enjoy!