losing control and letting go …

Yes it’s true, I along with my husband had to learn to lose control and let go on our journey to parenthood.  Why you ask?

Well there are parts of the journey you can control:

  1. what professionals you choose to work with from agency, attorney, or facilitator
  2. to how you want to proceed with letting the world know you are hoping to adopt from using agency outreach, or creating your own outreach
  3. how your outreach looks and who may help you create it or by yourself
  4. how you educate yourselves on considerations in adoption i.e. what nationality, any exposures, siblings, etc.
  5. Say no to situations that may not fit or feel right for your family

And then there are the parts of the journey you learn you cannot control:

  1. how your outreach is perceived out in the public eye either for or against advertising while hoping to adopt
  2. if and when an expectant mom finds you and or your profile while considering an adoption placement
  3. if the hoping to adopt and thinking to place will mean parenthood

It is not that easy to let go and give up that much control.  What we learned is as we embraced this journey to parenthood we needed to embrace what we were working towards; and that this would happen we just couldn’t help what the timeline would be.

And letting go of the control takes time but we did find there are things to keep you busy:

  • first with interviewing and attending orientations to select a professional or professionals to work with
  • then its the homestudy, autobiographical questionnaires and home visits
  • then deciding how and where to prepare and send outreach materials as proposed by professionals
  • do we or don’t we start a nursery? yes we did! painted in neutral colors, with a non-gender specific artwork ~farm animals!  crib, dresser and rocking chair!

And then the busy work is done and the WAIT begins … this is when you really realize there is not much to do but wait, you can’t do more but embrace your journey and maybe just go a little crazy!


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