open adoption

to lose a grandmother …

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grandma mac 2012

The other day we learned Grandma Mac had passed away, our girls have lost one of their loving Grandmas and Tim and I have lost a wonderful woman who treated and loved us like one of her own.

We became part of their clan when our oldest was entrusted to us at her birth. I will miss the calls I would get from Grandma Mac just to talk and pass on some parenting advice, we will ALL miss her terribly.

Telling our girls was the hardest part of this day.  This is the second grandparent to die in their young lifetime.

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This poem helps our girls know that they have not lost their Grandma forever that she lives in our hearts and when she is thinking of us you might find a penny from her letting you know she is around.

 

and so the school year begins …

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and so the school year begins here is an email sent to my younger daughter’s first grade teacher today.
 
 
Hello Ms. N,
 
J is currently working on her homework, all about me and it prompted me to write.  
 
I wanted to let you know in advance so you may have an understanding of what she is sharing. Our family was built through adoption.  Both of our girls were entrusted to us at birth and we have continued family relationships with their birth families including and not limited to their birth mothers, birth fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and siblings.  
 
So on her page she has listed she has 2 brothers and 1 sister.  This is true and how she knows her family (her sister has 3 other sisters).  They each live with her birth family, one with her birth mother and the other with her birth father. We see them, have pictures of them, etc.
 
Our family has blended beautifully and J is choosing to share this.  She is at an age now when she can decide who she shares with.  If you think at any time I need to come to class and help explain how our family was built for the other students to understand, please let me know I’d be happy to read a book and talk about it with them.
 
Please let me know if you have any questions.
 
Thanks,
 

6 years old …

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cake 6

Six? how did this happen? J turns six today! She is so excited for her birthday as are all of us! Our girl who is always full of energy, full of love, full of life! It’s hard to believe she will be starting 1st grade on Monday, it feels like yesterday when you were born!

As with your sister, it is not lost on us that our dreams came true on this day because of others and the decisions they made in choosing us to be parents. Everyday we realize how blessed we are to have you as our daughter.

Your arrival to our family was without planning having met your birth mother just 14 days before you were born.  When we first met S having been introduced by our adoption professional, we felt an instant connection. She with us as well and also falling in love with our then 2 year old A.  We so easily blended into a family it was amazing!  But that was only the beginning and here we are six years later.  This weekend it was your family that came together to celebrate you and your sister with each of your birth mothers.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful princess! May your year ahead be as happy as your first 6 have been!

We love you to the Moon and back a Gazillion Times!! xxoo

 

a date night refresher …

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date night 8-14-14

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s a nice way to reconnect as a couple.  My husband and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage this October.  We have been together for 19 years as of this coming September and it is through all this time that I find we are still best friends with everything that has changed in our lives over all this time.

Last night was an adult escape for us.  Tickets to see Paul McCartney perform as the last show EVER at Candlestick in San Francisco.  What was even nicer for our date night, our eldest daughter’s birth mom is in town! So who better to stay and play with our girls while we get a night out?

I am a BIGGER fan of the Beatles and Paul than my husband but I know we both enjoyed the 3-hour long show, AMAZING!  The 2 hour+ drive gave us plenty of time to talk and laugh as we made our way from our home to the venue and then waiting in all the traffic for 49,000 fans to find parking!

Although we don’t get out much as just the two of us, I love when we do and can reconnect as the two adults we are.  As can be the case, our conversation was not dominated by talk of our girls, only bits and pieces.

It is important to have this time, just the two of us, it keeps us each whole and connected.

Can’t wait for the next time we can escape!