NaBloPoMo

What are your boundaries?

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Wikipedia Definition Setting Boundaries:

Setting boundaries is a life skill that has been popularized by self help authors and support groups since the mid 1980’s. It is the practice of openly communicating and asserting personal values as way to preserve and protect against having them compromised or violated. The term “boundary” is a metaphor – with in-bounds meaning acceptable and out-of-bounds meaning unacceptable. Without values and boundaries our identities become diffused and often controlled by the definitions offered by others.

There are many boundaries in our lives.  Some we set for ourselves and others that are set up for us either through professional expectations, educational lines or social codes.

As parents we set boundaries for our children that are part of their learning curve on behavior.  We have no hitting boundaries, no lying boundaries, no eating candy and cookies all day boundaries and many more.  Our children push and pull on the boundaries that we have set wanting to have none but needing them all and the boundaries change as they grow older. The boundaries are set with consequences for crossing over them as a way to teach our children.  It is the consequences we set that we are hoping our children to develop the knowledge of right and wrong.  A lot of these were learned as we were children and we may have tweaked them a bit to fit our family and how we are raising our children.

As a family built by adoption, we have set up some boundaries about discussions related to our family.  Now that our children are older we have taught them to choose when, to who and how they tell their family story.  Our family story is not a secret but as a family we believe it is a private matter and not to be shared without their consent.  I see that one of our daughters is more apt to share her family story and our other not so quick to share.  We are proud to see that they each have created their own boundaries for themselves.

What boundaries do you have set for yourself and/or your family?

This is day 2 of #NaBloPoMo #BlogHer

BlogHer NaBloPoMo 2015 Day 1- Gratitude abounds

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“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”
– A.A. Milne in Winnie-the-Pooh

Yes I am starting day 1 of NaBloPoMo for BlogHer with a post of gratitude. I am taking on the challenge again of posting once-a-day for 30 days.

Like Piglet, I know my heart holds a lot of gratitude especially at this time of year as I begin to look back on what 2015 has held for me and my family. We are all healthy and happy (minus the head cold that’s keeping me grounded today).  I think every year that we grow closer to each other.

Although our girls are older and outwardly show their independence, inwardly they want cuddles, hugs and the closeness we have in our family.  They push us away as they pull us close in as they get older.  They may screech, scream and snark that they are older and can do it ALL alone but deep down they look to us for guidance and boundaries on how they should do it.  The daily push-pull is tiring but at the end of the day I know we are in it together.

Being 9 and 7 years old is hard, you want to be more independent but at the same time you need that bit of guidance of how and why we do the things we do.  I tell my girls everyday I Love You ❤ and they know I mean it.  It’s more than words that I share, it’s a touch, a kiss, a time to hold hands or a hug that I also share daily with them and in return they share back with me.

It is everyday of the year that I think about how our family came to be and it is not lost on me (or my husband) that our family came at the loss for someone else.  Our relationships with each of our girls’ birth families are very important to us, and it is through the years that I am even more grateful for their place in our family and our lives.  Time has created friendships and family relationships that have taken us through tough times and good times like any relationship, but it is our times together in the making of memories that I am most grateful for.  Time together that our girls are part of that they see our family as a family and nothing less.

And so it is this first post of November that I sit back with gratitude and reminisce about our family and our lives together.

What will November be for you?  Do you look back and feel the gratitude of what you have?

Day 1, #NaBloPoMo #BlogHer

I did it!

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Time for my personal pat on the back, I did it!  I excitedly took the BlogHer pledge to write for 30 days for National Blog Posting Month and I have written for 30 days with only one day that I had nothing, The Nothing Post.

It was a challenge I took for myself after attending the BlogHer conference this summer.  I felt if I was to be a blogger I needed to participate.

I have taken on different topics each day, different then how I originally started with this blog.  I didn’t just write about adoption or menopause.  I wrote about things that happen in my life and I liked it!

I am happy with myself for participating.  Something else that came from NaBloPoMo, I found other bloggers and read their blogs and ones I will continue to follow.

So happy 30th post to me! to read the many other bloggers participating, click #NaBloPoMo,  and enjoy everyone’s final post!

we believe …

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I realize at the ages of 8 and 6 years old the time our girls believe may be limited before someone or something alerts them to the realization of what may be real during the Christmas season.  Our intent when this does occur is to keep the belief alive with the magic of the season.

We watched the movie Elf recently and my eldest had to read all the credits to see who was Santa, thankfully they listed Santa 🙂  For now, our girls still believe in Santa Claus and our Elf on the shelf, Earl. Their excitement for this season bubbles over and out.

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As has become a tradition in our home, the day after Thanksgiving our tree is set up in the family room.  My husband assembles it, I fluff the branches and check the pre-lit lights and our girls decorate.  This is their tree with the many ornaments they have made over the years, those gifted to them and those they have collected at holiday events.

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Today the outside of our home was decorated.  My husband taking advantage of what was to be a rainy day and was not, got out and set our house a blaze with lights, lights and more lights.  So you see the Christmas spirit is shared by all of us in the family.

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We will begin baking soon, the girls have started writing their Dear Santa letters, and of course Earl arrived on Thanksgiving to have a watchful eye on our girls till Christmas.  The girls believe that Earl has magical powers is that transport him back and forth to Santa every night to give an update to the man in red whether they should be on the good or the naughty list.  Each morning they wake up to see where he has sat himself down for that day’s watch.

And on the magical night of Christmas Eve we will gather around the computer to follow The Official Norad Santa Tracker with squeals of delight as we see his travels well before he arrives in California.

I am happy that we believe all of us and that keeps the magic of the season for me!

Day 29 of National Blog Posting Month, click #NaBloPoMo to enjoy the many other bloggers participating.