When our first daughter was born and entrusted to us, I joined a local mommies group. The group I joined was not necessarily adoption focused, but it was a mommies group. I talked to the facilitator about my journey and she allowed me to “try out” a meeting to see if it would be a good fit.
That was 8 years ago and we still see each other as best we can with multiple kids, school & sport schedules and life!
It turned out the day I sat in on this particular mommies group would be life changing/life saving for me! I was the only mom there through adoption, but no one cared! The way I connected to these 10 women in just one session was amazing to me! We were all struggling with the demands of a newborn as first-time moms, that is what connected me to them!
We met every Tuesday with facilitated meetings and after about 6 meetings we were to go and meet on our own. The meetings did go on and went from more formal get togethers to meeting at the park, or meeting for coffee. Most of us would become stay-at-home moms which gave each of us the want/need to keep on meeting. We made outings to the pumpkin patch, we celebrated the holidays as a group including the daddies!
As our babies grew we took the time for mommy time and met for dinner, drinks and movie night! Then before we knew it second babies were adding to the group. This, however, was a time for me that I had to take a small step back. Since I was not getting pregnant to add to our family I could not always be part of the constant pregnancy talk when 6 of them were pregnant at the same time. My mommy friends understood. They knew I was happy for them, but they knew it was hard for me. We did not leave the group I enjoyed our social times together and so did my daughter. I just had to pick and choose more closely when we would meet up.
And then our second daughter was entrusted to us and she fell in the middle of all their second births. This was a tough time for us with our daughter being a last minute placement to our family (another story at another time). These mommy friends rallied around us now having a better understanding of how our journey to parenthood worked. They cooked us meals, offered helping hands and were there to support us during this time.
You see somewhere during the first 2 years these women went from just my Mommy Group friends to friends. We shared our daily struggles as new parents first with infants and then onto toddlers. All of us adding to our families around the same time.
Today we are getting together has become our custom, to celebrate our first babies turning 8 years old. Our girls are as excited as us to see everyone!